my depression has been more or less lifted.
oh YAY.
okay i was indeed pmsing la.

ooh i met yijun on my way home just now.
she has been giving my neighbour tuition for quite some time
and that was the first time i actually saw her around.
cool!

anyway,
learning festival these 2 days have been quite fun?
i think.
for some reason i keep calling it SERVICE LEARNING.
haha mixed-up me.

hmmm. let's see.
the battlefield tour would have been great if i wasn't so tired.
(i still am. *yawns*)
mr tan really knows his stuff man!
haha and i finally learnt what a PILLBOX is!

went for volleyball clinic today.
quite fun la, i learnt loads.
the correct skills and techniques that is.
and dot, as usual, does not possess the necessary strength to make overhand serves.
so irritating. =((
and my lower arms still hurt from all that digging.
but it was fun nevertheless!

and comic drawing was,
er.. no comments. hahaha.

oh and thanks ruiqi for the squeaky penguin!
haha it's so cute la.
i named it muffin btw.
poon named his choco.
hahaha.


there she goes
10:06 PM



sian.
i missed 20-07-2007.
which was yesterday.

not forgetting 070707.
seventh night of july.

went for cip, rapture and poon's inauguration today.
dunno why but i just felt so frustrated and stubborn.
bad mood.
must be PMS.

everything seems to go wrong.
the ball of frustration just seems to get bigger and bigger.
and i'm feeling more depressed by day. =((

i want to read deathly hallows.


there she goes
10:10 PM



i'm feeling.
defeated.
and hopeless.
no matter how much effort i try putting in,
nothing seems to work.

i have been telling friends to press on, to work harder, and maybe one day we'll see clearer skies.
cos i know that the feeling of being demoralised sucks.
but do i believe?

i've never felt so lousy before.
and it's precisely because i did work hard this time round,
that made me feel this way.

and people with good results, stop rubbing it in.
cos you may unknowingly hurt some people if you do.
thank you very much.

suddenly i'm very thankful for humble people like amanda.
the world needs more amandas.


there she goes
9:06 PM



it's the 14th of july 2007.
to dear SHIOKS:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SCANDAL!!

we're like the only surviving scandal in our batch, aren't we?
wheeee!
still remember during the lunch at KFC exactly a year back,
after the 29th SC commendation at st. andrew's cathedral,
we were wondering how come the perth trip had so many scandals,
and none of them included us.
so..
TADA!
we decided to create one for ourselves.
and TADA!
she became my scandal.
hahahahaha.

i love my scandal! (:

poon said he'll get us an anniversary cake.
from mariott hotel somemore!
(how to do you spell it anyway)
but nevertheless, YAYNESS.


anyway,
i'm 99% certain i'm not going to any university.
that 1% is in case anything crops up,
like being rejected?
the signs from Him have been overwhelming.
and my dad has been supportive so far,
THANK YOU MY LORD!

i am going to study art.
after getting back my A's results that is.

i'm just deciding between Lasalle or NAFA.
and i'm scared i'll fail the audition/entrance test/portfolio interview/whatever.
i have a fear of rejection.

well people,
please pray for me alright! (:


there she goes
9:44 PM



i'm starting to listen to band music again.
thanks to elissa and her ipod,
that got me kinda emo listening to merry widow and first love.
it's just so heart-stirring.
so nostalgic, so poignant.

sigh.
feeling this wave of sadness.
(poetic intermezzo's not making me feel happier)

i'm troubled.
where does my future lie?
how am i going to get that sum of money?
how am i going to continue my dream?
how am i going to live my passion?
how am i going to fulfill my ambition?
it's times like these when i wished i was this rich kid.

i guess it's really up to God where He wants me to go.

right now,
there's 3 things i must do:
1. pray hard
2. study hard
3. save money


there she goes
10:17 PM



i think i should learn to control my emotions.
and my temper.
i shouldn't let them get the better of me.
i must stop being so irrational.
cannot ah cannot ah.

love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control.
these are the FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT.

have i been bearing these fruits?

i was reflecting yesterday, when was the last time i actually allowed God's will to be done in my life?
i realised that many times decisions were made according to my wishes, not His.
indeed, i've been too self-centered and i was wrong.

you know, i was suddenly reminded of the sharing uncle sebastian once made.
it was considered a miracle (not matter how small a matter it was),
but it kinda taught me what i should do when i meet bad things
things that "don't go my way".

that time he lost his wallet i think. (or keys? can't remember)
he was so frantic and worried cos it was of great importance to him.
however, in the midst of his anxiety,
auntie sharon reminded him to pray and to just leave everything to God.
i guess many of us often forget to seek help from Him when troubles come our way eh.

so he calmed down, reflected, and prayed.
no, he didn't pray that God MUST let him find his wallet.
that'd be according to his own wishes isn't it.
well, he did ask God for his wallet to be found.
BUT,
he also thanked God for the loss,
so that he could learn to keep his belongings properly.
he left everything to God's will.
because, afterall, it may be part of God's plan to teach him a lesson right?

i guess that's the right mentality i should adopt.
although it's easier said than done,
for human nature always comes in the way.
but i really thank God for this lesson learnt.
i must always learn to seek His will.
and to think on the positive side of everything.





there she goes
8:22 PM






there she goes
12:42 AM



1 less day to study for A's! =(

okay, shall be more optimistic.
1 more day to end of A's! =)))))
i realised that my H1 art notes are thicker than my H2 bio notes. =X

haha anyway, we went out today!
with elissa shioks and poon! after their physics papers.
i finally ate the fried mars bars at far east
they really tasted like mars bars.
except that they're fried.
YUM.
great company! (:
and i loved the ramen too.

afterwards poon and i went to novena for our long-awaited ICE CREAM BUFFET! (:
ate alot of ice cream!
i ate 10 scoops altogether?
i think he ate like.. 18?
SO MUCH. bottomless pit ah.

we played chinese chess!
eh dear, we must play again someday okay?
playing chess has never been so fun before.
we shall play all our weird mutant chess games.
got all sorts of patterns one.
let's go to MIND'S CAFE one day! (: so fun.

oh yes. before that we were watching westlife concert on their tv screen.
it was SO NOSTALGIC!
still remember those good old sec1 boarding school days with steff and suanwoo.
when steff got me addicted to westlife.
all those great, popular and catchy songs they sang.
songs like my love, seasons in the sun, i lay my love on you, fool again, uptown girl.
we'd listen to their songs every night to sleep. (:

oh man i really love their songs.
heard flying without wings again.
i thought it was really touching and meaningful.
both music and lyrics respectively.


FLYING WITHOUT WINGS

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary night
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine

And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings


there she goes
11:17 PM



BT2 IS OVER.

hahaha. YAYY. oh man i've been waiting longingly for this day ever since i started preparing for blocks.
which was like weeks ago.
after all the insane chionging for SYF and revision for the past few months.


finally, a well-deserved break.

really gotta thank God for bringing me through all these crap.
for being my source of energy, my peace.
i never felt so relieved before.
i guess i was really tired from all the non-stop, continuous studying.
and all the worries, anxieties, excessive doses of adrenaline.
POOF they're all gone!
(for now)

and now i just have to wait fearfully for next week to come.
DOOM'S WEEK. ahhhhh.

6 weeks more to art prelims! eee. shall put this small small cos it's such an irritating piece of info. spoiler. boo.
4 more months to A's. AHHHHHHH.

~5 more months to end of A's! (:

hmmm. anyway i realised there's been an apparent departure in my blogging style and use of colour. maybe i'm tired of long sentences and chunky, mundane entries? hmmm. perhaps i may revert back occasionally? ha we shall see.

i guess i just love colours!
more colours, more happiness!!
they add vibrancy and brilliance to my monochromatic posts.
ooh. primary colours.

oh. i got a tagboard!
it's on the right of the screen. (duh)
please tag okay? erm if anyone actually reads my blog.
if not, it'd look so pathetic.
even more pathetic than my grades.


to all physics students,
H2 literature students,
H1 geography, history, biology and GSC students:
ALL THE BEST!
PRESS ON!
the end is near.

oh yes.
all the best to jingwen eunice grace and all the H2 art people for their five boards.
hoho coursework!


there she goes
9:10 PM