i saw kx in school! it seemed that they were having some choir exchange in sa. gosh i miss her so much. saw quite a few of my ex-schoolmates too. I REALLY MISS THE NY AIR. sigh. they say you never miss the water until it's gone.

hmmm. stupid la. wished i could go for the chalet, but oh well. i'm perfectly fine. like real. i'm kinda depressed now. think i'm pmsing again.
i wonder how samo's doing at vietnam right now. i miss her! i want to show her my new shoes! and we're supposed to go climb the bukit timah hill.

guess what? i brought home my instrument and and stupidly forgot to take my file as well. simply brilliant. tried playing that jiang xin gui zhu song my brother wrote. and my ulcers have been hurting like dunnowad since dunnowhen. they hurt the most during yesterday's prac; the most painful ulcers i'd ever gotten. must RENNNNN. can't wait to take off those braces. ha, TAKE THAT you nincompoopish ulcers.

don't think i'll be going online anytime soon. mum wants me to study, and i've 2 camps from 4th to 13th dec. i hope i'll survive. (esp band camp) i hope my lips don't explode. i hope my ulcers won't hurt, which is kinda impossible but i'll still hold on to that tiny bit of hope anyway.

what am i talking about? here's dot in one of her random and rubbishy moments again. well, R&R eh. so much for smiley-faced earstuds.


there she goes
6:54 PM



FATE OF THE GODS! <3

dot is very stressed. and very worried. for many aspects of my life. how? my mind's in a mess right now.

"and now i love music so damn much, but when you love something so big and incredible and beautiful it's inevitable you'd start feeling small and shrivelled in comparison."

helen, your entry really spoke my mind. oh well.

the crescent moon seems to be flashing an awfully sinister grin at me tonight.


there she goes
11:38 PM



to chop and amanda:
all the best for bio olympiad!
(and have fun during work-shadowing.)

to samo, minqi, eeling, leqi, and all ocipers:
take care and have a good time! BON VOYAGE.

to shioks:
take care and have fun in hk okay! must miss your scandal ah. LOVE.

*

finally got to go down to my beloved singapore river today. sigh i just love that place. i miss that ride around the river in that little trishaw, with that friendly trishaw uncle who thought i was a malaysian. and i love lim cheng hoe's singapore river watercolours.



sectionals with andrew today was funny. missed the j2 saxtion! he said the altos didn't sound sexy enough for hot latin. whatever. shall work on that haha. but we're such a cool section. yeah man. well said!


there she goes
9:39 PM



back from the banquet. eugene and i were the only youths for our table la. we're the iraq war generation but we were like surrounded by all the ww1/ww2 generation people. crapped with him throughout and all the lame shit kept coming out. what SQ-me.. SQ 117, oleng joo. his dad super drama la. now i know where he gets his lame genes from. and i just found out that he was from st pat's band 2 years back. i'm so lag. must really thank God he sat with me, or i would have died of absolute boredom.

yeah anyway i was feeling kinda crappy this morning. her words were like knives scraping on my heart and everytime she turned around to say something, my heart bled even more. and yesterday was worse. i felt the world crashing down on me, falling into shambles. and those broken pieces of my life that i'd been trying so hard to put back together all these months had seemed to break apart once more.

even though i felt more joyful during service, but whenever my thoughts wander back into those dark corners once again, some light in me gets extinguished and i'll feel like a mashed potato again. i'm afraid when time comes i'll be drowned in total darkness.

but the only light left shining ever so brightly is You. Lord i just pray that You'll give me the strength, the willpower, the courage and the faith to meet them face on and overcome them. Lord you're my superglue that pieces those shards of my life back together. think of Job, think of Paul.

amen.


there she goes
12:21 AM



i am seriously bored. and no, i don't feel like sleeping. it's been a long time since i did this.

*

1. Time of starting this? 11.46pm

2. Were you named after anyone? don't think so

3. Do you wish on stars? never. haha. maybe can try one day.

4. When did you last cry? hmmm. that day during sectionals.

5. What is your favourite meat? human. mwaha. GASP. my darkest secret is revealed!

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? haha. erm. F4? o.O

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? maybe not.

8. Are you a daredevil? no way. i want my life.

9. How do you release anger? cry and pray.

10. Where is your second home? church? band room?

11. Do you trust others easily? hmm. depends. but quite.

12. What was your favourite toy as a child? polly pocket! haha.

13. What subject in school do you think is totally useless? math chem bio. no la. PROJECT WORK.

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yeah sometimes only.

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? what's that?

16. What do you look for in your future partner? someone who loves God; loves and cares for me; stays with me through thick and thin; and most importantly, must be a guy!

17. Would you bungee jump? i used to think i will have the courage to bungee, but now to think of it, i think i'll freak out in the end.

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope!

19. What's your favourite ice cream flavour? TOO MANY TO NAME. i love chocolate mint!

20. What are your favourite colours? green, white, black, orange.

21. What is your least favourite thing? err.

23. Who do you miss most right now? tian. you.

24. What are you listening to right now? sound of my fan.

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? white! i'll look good on black paper!

26. What is the weather like right now? quite cooling, cos it's night time!

27. Last person you talked to on the phone? my mum! who has yet to return home.

28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? height and hair. that applies to people of the same sex too.

29. Do you like the person who sent you this? OF COURSE. my childhood friend la! (: love.

30. How are you today? rather bored. or else i wouldn't be doing this.

31. Favourite drink? hot kopi.

32. Favourite alcoholic drink? nah i don't drink.

33. Natural hair colour? dark brown. I DIDN'T DYE MY HAIR.

34. Eye colour? dark brown?

35. Wear contacts? nope.

36. Siblings? an elder brother.

37. Favourite month? december! cos it's a holiday month, and there's christmas!

38. Favourite food? too many to name too. chocolate. ice cream. laksa. chicken rice. maggi mee. prawn mee. century egg porridge. blah blah. I AM NOT ANOREXIC.

40. Favourite day of the year? 30th april. (:

41. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? hmmm?

42. Scary movies or happy endings? endings with a twist. definitely not endings that make people go HUH??

43. Summer or winter? spring! with flowers and everything.

44. Hugs or kisses? both. most importantly, must feel loved!

48. What book/magazine are you reading? NOW? none of course.

49. What's on your mouse pad? my mouse doesn't use pads la. haha.

50. What did you watch on TV last night? project superstar auditions!

51. Favourite Smell? the smell of good food.

52. Do you regret ever breaking up with someone? n/a

53. Time of finishing? 12.14am. gosh this is one long survey. i'm tired.


there she goes
11:34 PM



hmmm. someone just told me to be more sensitive a few days back. sometimes it just takes one word said to be deemed insensitive. so much for showing genuine concern, just to be hurt in the end. maybe one day i should really shut up and stop speaking.

i'm laughing at myself for being over-sensitive about my insensitivity. lol.

superstar's super hilarious! hahaha. got a surprise when i saw DIYA onscreen. gosh. she was that singer during the LIONHEART performance at hwachong three years back! that singer who sang AN JING so impactfully and left such a deep impression on us! ahhhh must go tell stella.

hehh. anyway while going home this lady called to tell me that i'm a lucky winner of 3 prizes - a 8D7N trip to thailand, some facial products and a two-day stay at sentosa worth $180. then when i told her that i'm only seventeen, she tio stun and said she had to ask her company whether i'm still eligible for the prizes. yeah and she didn't call back in the end. eeeee. SO FAKE LA. cheat my feelings. what a scam.

walked home in the rain just now. i stupidly FORGOT i had an umbrella. o.O brilliant dot, SIMPLY BRILLIANT. haha.

should i tell? or should i not?


there she goes
9:21 PM



hmmm. today, i finally said some stuffs that have been cooped inside for quite some time. i can't believe i said them, but i admit that i feel much much better after that. i feel as if some portions of my burdens have been lifted off my shoulders. but to think of it, it's still pretty saddening. this has happened many times in my life. maybe i'm just born to feel this way.
that's life. maybe it's all my problem. maybe i should do some self-reflection.

combined prac with st pats today was boring for me. almost fell asleep. stupid coldsore. i feel retarded doing fingerings only. i want to play my sax! =( gosh i can finally understand how yi mei felt that time. but it's healing so YAY.

anyway, i sat beside this uber friendly st pats boy. who kinda reminded me of one of those cute mice (mouses?) in cinderella. o.O and he was like "nice knowing you. see you at the band camp!" ya i think he's nice. he's only sec2 and he's a much better player than i am. he plays running notes like nothing. but YAY. made a new friend today. i feel so sisterly haha.

sitting on my right side, however, was a rude boy. tsk tsk. shan't elaborate further. sometimes it just doesn't pay to be friendly.

maybe i should have just went, "HALLO. what's your name? i'm not gonna tell you mine. it's for me to know and you to find out. but i reckon you're not interested to find out so NEVER MIND. hope you have a nice day. goodbye!"

just kidding. i know it doesn't pay to be friendly, but sometimes you just gotta do it and be a whale. no thick skin la. just lots of blubber.


there she goes
9:12 PM



oh yeah.

to all sec4s taking O's
to all j1s taking mother tongue AO's
to all j2s taking A's,

ALL THE BEST!
AND GOD BLESS!

hmmm. i wonder how jia en did for his drawing and painting paper?

la la la. i have a sudden longing for an adventure and a ride of a lifetime. i guess i'm someone who loves surprises.


there she goes
11:10 PM



I'M BORED.

You Are 82% Feminine, 18% Masculine

You are totally in touch with your feminine side. Chances are, you are a very typical woman. And if you're a guy, then you're just super sensitive.

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties. Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions.

oh gosh. PICASSO! my portrait's gonna be so "cubified" hahaha.

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy, Music, Theology, Art, History, Foreign language.

there she goes
9:07 PM



took a test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp and it says i'm an ISFP too. hmmm. and it means Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving!

ISFP's stuff
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFP.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFP_rel.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFP_car.html

and it says, "almost every major artist in the world has been an ISFP." hahaha. YAY. and i have what it takes to be a psychologist! DOUBLE YAY.

i don't know how accurate these are, but some descriptions are undeniably similar to my own character traits so... hmmm. *shrugs*

oh darn. michael jackson's an ISFP. what!?!

ahhh. my coldsore is so painful today. and it BLED. after individuals that is. stupid coldsore.

oh yes. EVERYBODY PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THE BIENNALE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. although it's supposed to be held once in every two years, but this is the first and probably the last time it's gonna be held in singapore. it's like the olympics! 2008 will be held in berlin and 2004 was held in venice if i'm not wrong. yeah. so GO NOW.


there she goes
8:22 PM