i thought cutting my hair would make me happier. but obviously it didn't. i practically cried my eyes out last night and they felt kinda sore this morning. i guess i just needed to let it all out huh.

dead poet's society.


THANK YOU RUTH! i really dunno how to express my utmost gratitude to you. thanks for your listening ear and all the lovely m&m's. if cutting hair didn't make me happier, you sure did. thank you my dear valentine.

horror of horrors, i look like a boy! AHHH. grace asked why did i chop my hair? thanks grace. i don't want to look like a boy! after that traumatising experience at the harbourfront food court 2 years back. "xiaodidi!" and funnily, some other foodseller called sk the same thing too! sigh. zuo ren zhen de zuo de hen shi bai.

played badminton for pe yesterday. napfa on wed. i'm like aching all over. and i keep trembling all of a sudden. like today, i was unable to write the tempo markings on my scores cos my hand was trembling uncontrollably. AND I SUDDENLY REALISED THE IMPORTANCE OF GOOD WARM-UPS. which i totally didn't do before pe yesterday.

listening to concert recordings now. SACRED SUITE. gosh. i'm speechless. i just feel so.. honoured to be part of the finale band, playing such a grand and beautiful piece. i feel so overwhelmed to be able to play a part in the music, however small it may be. it's just stuff like this that makes everything worthwhile. i can already picture myself few years down the road, listening to the recordings again and feeling such an immense sense of pride and burst of joy.

and what's the word? ah yes. POIGNANT. esp howl's moving castle and starship eh.

i need to push. much. harder. i realised my fortissimo is probably like, say, andrew's mezzo piano. maybe that's why my dynamics are all so screwed up. maybe that's why i have a sucky tone. i think i should just go join the sec ones to play in the junior band fest. since i'm like on par with them in terms of experience.

yes i will push. and push. and push. and sound good at the same time. (= oh yes i will. hopefully.


there she goes
9:46 PM