CONCERT IN TWO DAYS.
despite the stress and all, i still feel super excited! and i know He will remove all fear and anxiety from my heart. furthermore, this is gonna be my FIRST concert. (perth and racial harmony not counted) held in my favourite place in singapore! and that makes it even more special to me. WHEE.

i'm feeling quite high because i had one of my most productive individuals just now. (it all started with good warm-ups) i admit i can't play everything. but hey! i put in 101% of my effort and i guess i'm happy already. it's all God's blessings! haha yeah. i've decided to stop wallowing in self-pity and MOVE ON. even though stumbles and falls are always inevitable in this journey. the graph is definitely not exponential.

please constantly remind dot to be optimistic okay?

oh yeah i have a few people to thank:

thanks pam for the note! "i'll always be HEAR for you". hahaha. i'm kidding.

thanks ruth for the surprise m&m's again! LOVE. my sweet valentine! (:

thanks elissa for helping me out today! you really really made me play out loud. and guess what? i still continued to play loudly even after you left. you were the reason why i enjoyed individuals so much today. THANKS.

haha. we had another teacher for chem lab today and she's SO PRETTY and OH-SO-NICE. erm if i wasn't fumbling with my stupid calorimeter i would probably be staring at her the whole time. she practically exudes confidence and she has this distinct aura that made me admire her a lot. and she's gooood.

hmmm. there's still this overwhelming sense of insecurity in me. i'm just moving on one step by one step and i have no idea what's gonna happen next. what will His plan for me be? will He make things go the way i want it to be? will i be able to accept it?

to the saxtion: i really felt much better after the talk today. i'm sorry for everything. i really am. i'm sorry for delaying sectionals. i'm sorry for slowing the saxtion's progress. i'm sorry for not meeting your standards. a thought flashed across my guilt-ridden mind that other day. i thought of just.. leaving. you know, leaving the saxtion, leaving the band. it'll probably save everyone from more trouble right? but hey! i realised how irresponsible that is. a quitter never wins and a winner never quits. and i love playing with the band too much to quit. right now i'm feeling much more optimistic than i'd ever been in days. God bless us. we can do it.


there she goes
9:41 PM