i can't believe i'm seventeen already. and it's such a beautiful number.

found out that mychelle and john chew are fellow man u fans! yayy so cool. mych promises to watch world cup with me during the perth trip. can't wait man.

i'm starting to miss s14 again. i realised i was a more cheerful girl with s14 during 1st intake. but now, i'm retreating into my shell and reverting back to my quiet and moody self like in sec2. even endorphins in the form of kitkats or strawberry oreos fail to lift my spirits. i'm talking lesser and lesser, even though i don't talk alot in the first place. i get distracted real easily and sometimes when i talk to people, i feel that i'm just opening and closing my mouth and i'm not there mentally. i'm becoming an introvert and please lah, i'm so not a sanguine. i guess i'm really tired. tired of bonding and making friends, something i admit i'm not really good at. i was really really happy with s14, and i was all ready to spend the rest of my jc life with that class. but you know what happened in the end. it's not that i dislike my present class. i like the people. it's just that i'm tired of putting in the effort just to be disappointed and hurt in the end. it's common sense that the more you love something/somebody, the more pain you feel when that something/somebody hurts you.

am i making sense? sorry if i'm not. if you can't understand the concept, you can come look for me and i'll slowly explain to you. haha. err. -_- and seriously i feel like quitting school and studying at NAFA. it will probably be as tough as jc life, but at least i'll be enjoying what i'm studying, unlike now when every lecture and tutorial is a torture to me. however, like i'd said before, i love SAJC too much to quit. and i'm definitely not giving up band and learning how to play the sax. afterall, the real thing is going to begin for me right after the 5th may concert. (abit slow but better than nothing) if only life now could be all about playing the saxophone. no no that's too impossible and selfish.

ah sigh. i really have no idea what to do. i guess right now i should really keep these in my prayers. shall ask sarah and elissa to pray for me too. i know this is really late, but THANKS STELLA for listening out to me that day. (dor misses you loads!) in the mean time, i shall go and find out more about courses at NAFA. will probably drop by SAM and the esplanade too. it's been a quite some time since i went.

anyway i cut my hair! looks like crap but at least i'm more cheerful. okay shall go do GP essay. hurh how ironic.


there she goes
8:51 PM