it's good friday today. it's raining heavily outside and here i am, sitting by the window, typing these very words and occasionally looking out at the grey sky. as darkness fills my room i can't help but wonder how many of us are still living in darkness, oblivious to a salvation that is free and just so wonderful or simply taking it for granted.

we're all sinners. and i am no exception. i lie/bitch/complain/anger people/follow the world and i am selfish/lazy/superficial/bad-tempered/easily jealous/and most sadly, too proud to admit my wrongdoings. i'm simply soaked with sin. but despite all these, God still loves me. i don't deserve His love. we all don't. but the fact is, He still does! i mean, it's just so amazing.. so touching!!

as what john 3.16 says "for God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not perish but may have eternal life." He loves us so much! and as what pastor see preached just now, Jesus was holy and sinless, and yet He died for us sinners, who were actually doomed to hell.

there's no higher sacrifice that a man would give his life. there's no greater love than this. will you die for a friend? will you? will you willingly die for someone who despises you and treats you like trash? will you die for someone who hurts you all the time? there's just so much LOVE and mercy involved.

and i still clearly remember a sentence from eugene's testimony during life concert. "even if the whole world is against you, God will always be for you". it was so true that i cried.. in fact, emotions are welling up as i recall these very words which seem so much closer to my heart now that things in my life aren't going smoothly at all. this is one bumpy ride i'm experiencing on this journey of life.

i also remember once telling leqi that God can be our closest confidante. there's a limit to my courage and confidence of how much i can share with people. but through prayer (aka talking to God), i can tell Him all my darkest secrets, all my hidden frustrations and worries, all the things i'd never dream of telling anyone. "cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you". He's not only our saviour, He's also our friend, our peace, our shelter. i don't exactly know how, but i can feel that He's there for me. maybe it's because i feel much better? and i'm reminded of a song we sometimes sing during sunday school:

Did you ever talk to God above?
Tell him that you need a friend to love?
Pray in Jesus' name
Believing God answers prayers.
Have you told him all your cares and woes?
Every tiny little fear He knows.
You can know He'll always hear
And He will answer prayer.
You can whisper in a crowd to Him.
You can cry when you're alone to Him.
You don't have to pray out loud to Him;
He knows your thoughts.
On a lofty mountain peak, He's there.
In a meadow by a stream, He's there.
Anywhere on earth you go,
He's been there from the start

i know everything may sound incoherent or whatsoever, but my main point is, God loves us! He listens to our cries like He had listened to the cries of the israelites in exodus. He gives us peace. He even sent His precious Son to suffer and die for us sinners. He is simply amazing!


there she goes
1:48 PM